Rough Edge: A Visit to Alice Cooperstown

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTCLUB...
A visit to

by R. Scott Bolton

Okay, I'll admit it: AliceCooper'stown wasn't the only reason the Bolton family vacationed in Phoenix, Arizona, but it was a big one. Having been a fan of Alice's since ... well, since a hell of a long time ago, Alice Cooper'stown has been on my list of places to visit since I first heard about it a couple of years ago. So, finally, on the last night of our Phoenix visit, we headed down to the place that "Billion Dollar Babies" built for dinner and drinks.

Alice Coopers'town is a large restaurant/sports bar with an open air stage/patio. If the weather is right, outside is the place to be, especially if a band is scheduled to play. If there's a big game on - whether it be baseball, football or (in Alice's case) golf - you can catch it on the giant screens inside.

The first thing you'll notice about AliceCooper'stown is that it isn't like you envision it in your mind. Initially, if you're like me, you imagine a slick, glass-cased museum of a restaurant - like Planet Hollywood or even the Hard Rock Cafe. AliceCooper'stown isn't like that. It's more of a sports bar atmosphere which is what it's motto - "Where Jocks and Rock Meet" - comes into play. Sure, there are the glass-cased items, but they're not everywhere and they're not the main focus. The main focus here is the food, the drinks and sports. Just take a look at the sports being broadcast across the huge multi-screen set directly above the extensive bar and you'll see what this place is all about.

Actually, that's probably not the first thing you'll notice about AliceCooper'stown, especially if you're an Alice Cooper fan. The first thing you'll notice is that all of the hired help - waitpersons, hosts and hostesses, bartenders, etc. - are all wearing Alice's trademark mascara. Very cool.

When you get to your table (and, during our visit, that didn't take long at all), again you'll be thrilled if you're a Cooper fan. The tables are decorated with collages of Alice memorabilia. Images of old tickets, concert photos, backstage passes and vintage photos of Alice cover the tops of the table. So - order your drink, sit back and catch up on your Alice Cooper history by reading your tabletop.

The drink menu is pretty typical - a full bar, with such signature drinks as the now world-famous "Waborita" from Sammy Hagar and the Platinum Record and Gold Record Margaritas. Being a huge tequila fan, I tried the "Gold." Not bad, but not particularly fantastic either. Also available were the "Coop's Cosmo" and "Alice's Appletini" martinis and the Coopers'town Python Pale Ale.

The Starting Lineup menu (appetizers) was impressive, running the gamut from gourmet to garage. Included were such exotic hors d'oeuvres as Blue Cheese Escargot and Spinach and the Artichoke, Cheese & Crap dip and such standard fare as coconut shrimp, chicken wings and potato skins. There were also "Devo's Big City" sliders, which were small White Castle-like hamburgers and the "C'town Cheese Fries."

With a few exceptions, the food menu is exactly what you'd expect from a sports bar: burgers, BBQ and lots of fried stuff. The signature items included the "No More Mr. Nice Guy" Chipotle Chicken Pasta, the "Big Unit" hot dog (almost two feet long!!) and (are you ready for this?) the "Megadeth Meatloaf." But the specialty of the house is BBQ, including Smoked Prime Rib, shrimp skewers, pulled pork, hot links, smoked turkey and beef brisket.

I ordered the Megadeth Meatloaf (how can you not order an item like that?). Served homestyle atop a mountain of garlic mashed potatoes and smothered with gravy, this dish was surprisingly spicy. It can also be ordered with smoked turkey substituting for the meat loaf.

Those with me had a smoked turkey sandwich and BBQ ribs. Both were good, but not great. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the theme of the evening at Coopers'town.

But the real disappointment came when we paid a visit to the merchandise booth. I had planned on bringing home baseball caps and shotglasses for my friends and I really wanted one of the Coopers'town jerseys for myself.

Unfortunately, the cupboard was all but bare. According to the mascara-eyed clerk, Cooper'stown was out of baseball caps and shotglasses, as well as anything bigger than a large t-shirt for most of the designs. This was especially disappointing since the menu boasted "T-shirts, tank tops, chrome-plated glassware, baseball jerseys, golf shirts, baseball caps, golf pullovers, sweat shirts, golf hats, denim and long sleeve shirts and boxer shorts." All the way to Phoenix and all I get was a Megadeth Meatloaf and a vinyl keychain? Does that suck or what?

I'd pay another visit to Alice Cooper'stown if I were in the Phoenix area for business or on another vacation, but I wouldn't go to Phoenix just to visit Alice Coopers'town. The service was good, the food and drinks were okay and the selection of merchandise just plain sucked. Still, it'd be a great place to see a show - simply because of its atmosphere and attitude.

For more information, please visit http://www.alicecooperstown.com.

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