"God Hates the Hasbros and Other Conspiracy Theories" (Self-produced; 2023)

Reviewed by R. Scott Bolton

New York's The Hasbros play a poppy alt-rock that's melodic, uplifting and bright. It's the kind of music you'd expect to hear from a local band playing at your favorite bar on a Saturday night. It's pleasant, not too intrusive and it will probably put a smile on your face, even when they're talking about conspiracy theories (Track 2).

There's nothing new or ground-breaking here. It's just an enjoyable rock record from a band that plays the music they probably want to hear. Like our friends in Kauz of Affliction, the music of The Hasbros is personal, genuine and honest. That's what draws you into it.

My favorite tracks were the peppy "Bury You," the buzzy (sorry) "Be a Bee," and the poignant and affecting "30 Days of Night."

As much as I enjoyed this album, however, I'd rather see the band live, you know, at a bar with a Maker's Mark neat and some drunk beside me yelling "Freebird! Freebird!"

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Rating Guide:

A classic. This record will kick your ass.

Killer. Not a classic but it will rock your world.

So-so. You've heard better.

Pretty bad. Might make a nice coaster.

Self explanatory. Just the sight of the cover makes you wanna hurl.


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